Pondering uncomfortable feelings and chickens

I've been pondering this quote from Thoreau’s Walden a lot of late:

“It is desirable that a man […] live in all respects so compactly and preparedly that, if an enemy take the town, he can, like the old philosopher, walk out the gate empty-handed without anxiety.”

As Jeremy and I ruthlessly dispose of our possessions (Oh my! That sounds so Mother Theresa, sackcloth and ashes-like! Excuse me while I chant ommmmmmmmmmmmm) I must admit there is more than a little anxiety on my part. Feeling said anxiety makes me feel...well..a bit...anxious. Every blog I have ever read about minimalism and location-independent living talks about the feeling of liberation experienced by embracing this lifestyle. Yeah--about that...I'm not feelin' it as of yet. Can anyone tell me when that kicks in?

What I have been experiencing (besides the aforementioned anxiety) are the following:

Dishevelment. Sorry, no time for capricious acts of personal hygiene. I'm too busy sorting piles. Besides, I'm not sure where my hairbrush is anyway. Anything beyond a shower and a toothbrush ain't happenin' Thank God I don't have a wedding to perform until the end of this month. By then, I'll hopefully be able to put my hands on some dress clothes.

Sense of Surrealism. And by that, I don't mean the art form (yeah, like I have time to go to a museum). Everything seems other-worldly, from the time I wake up in my packing crate-strewn bedroom to the minute I extricate myself from the chaos and flop back into bed exhausted. While I am logically very confident in our decision to embrace a no-fixed-address lifestyle, on an emotional level, it can feel scary, frightening, terrifying a bit odd to condense our lives down to what will fit in our car. I have to acknowledge that I am operating out of my comfort zone big time. I've done some adventurous things in my life, but I always had a roof over my head in the process (oh yeah...and a mortgage payment too).

The What If's. I've always been a what-if kind of gal in a positive way. What if I double my wedding bookings by the end of the year? What would life be like if I lost 50 pounds? Imagine finding the right guy--finally. (Come to think of it, all those things came true.) But lately, I find myself filling my head with all kinds of negative what if's surrounding this (supposed) adventure. What happens if the stress of the unknown makes me so snappy (more than a remote possibility) that Jeremy can't stand being around me? My charm and good looks can only take me so far, ya know. And speaking of Jeremy, what if something happens to him while we're overseas in some third world country with crappy medical care and doctors who only take payments in chickens and we don't have a chicken? Then what? What if the whole thing becomes financially prohibitive (the travel--not the medical care with the chickens)? And oh, the horror if I can't get on the Internet to run my business at any given location. What if I can't find a hairdresser that gives me the great cut that I get from Brooks Miller at Honeycomb Salon in Denver? Clearly, there is potential for all types of catastrophic occurrences.

I could go on, but suffice it to say that I am feeling the effects of copious amounts of loose ends at the moment. My head tells me this will get better sooner rather than later.

However, I think that if Thoreau's "enemy" comes to "take my town," I will not leave empty-handed, but will instead grab a live chicken or two as I head out the door. Better safe than sorry.


Maureen Thomson and Jeremy Myers are a husband and wife team offering professional housesitting services worldwide. Visit our HouseSitting Couple website for more information.