Butterflies Everywhere!

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder... - Henry David Thoreau 

I had no idea until just now that the above quote was attributed to Thoreau. I remember it from a poster from my college days--back in the 70s when it was trendy to cover one's walls with such enlightened sayings. These were made even more sage if they were accompanied by a picture of fuzzy kitten, a peace sign or any references to Star Wars.

Something from that college poster taped near my bed must have stuck, for I think of Thoreau's saying often--not only in its relativity to happiness but in regard to so many good things that have come my way while I was "turning my attention to other things." Take for example, the birth of each of my daughters oh so many years ago. Since calling them "accidents" is now shunned as being politically incorrect, just let me say that they showed up as "surprises" when I very much had my attention turned to other things. No harm, no foul and now that they are through the diapers-terrible twos-needing daycare-childhood schlepping to after-school activities-adolescence-college tuition-oh Mom, by the way I'm pregnant phase they're pretty fun to be around. Yep, I'd say they definitely contribute to my happiness on a daily basis.

When Jeremy and I moved to Portland after a few years of here and there and focusing on other goals, one of our aims was to increase our circle of local friends. Facebook, Skype , blogs and occasional visits are awesome. And while no one can take the place of our old friends scattered throughout the world, it would be nice, we reasoned, to have a friend or two in closer proximity with whom to have the occasional glass of vino.

We approached this task ambitiously (in that way we have). We joined one Meetup group, then another. With these groups, we went on tours of Portland, visited museums, went to parties, etc. We friend-dated, we schmoozed, we put ourselves out there. In an effort to get to know our neighbors, we spent hours baking and packaging up mini pound cakes and on New Year's Day, the two of us went door to door to meet and greet and give the gift of sugar and fat.

I gotta tell ya, the results were less than stellar.

It's not that people weren't friendly. They were. It's not like we couldn't engage on some level. We could. But we never found that ideal friend chemistry. There was no one with whom I could see myself sitting on the porch having a cuppa tea (or 12) and jawing the afternoon away, preferably with at least one episode of snorting said tea out of my nose with laughter. Event after event and effort after effort, all we met were people who, at best, fell into the casual acquaintance category.

This was disturbing but not devastating. Jeremy and I generally enjoy each other's company for long stretches of time, so it's not like talking and tea-snorting experiences are totally absent from our lives. And once the Housesitting/Location Independent Lifestyle Adventure manifested itself, we turned our attention to that and the quest to find local peeps fell by the wayside.

Until we had our Best Moving Sale in the World this past weekend, that is. Now really, who would think of a yard sale as being fertile ground for finding friends? Seriously, if I were in the market for a new man, I'd forget about the grocery store, bars and Match.com. No siree Bob. Throw a yard sale and have an interesting story to share accompanied by some good junk to sell. And Bob's yer uncle! (Boy, this Bob guy sure gets around.)

Jeremy and I have connected with the most fascinating people over the past three days. You know when you're talking to someone who is interesting and you realize as you hear yourself speaking to them, that you also sound interesting? And you think, "Wow! this person is so interesting that he/she makes me feel interesting!" And then you think, "Well, Dayum--maybe I AM interesting too! Who knew???"

Yeah, those kinds of people. One guy chatted with us at length on Saturday and then brought his wife back and we chatted at more length on Sunday. We liked her too. We exchanged phone numbers and emails. After they left, Jeremy and laughed over the irony of finding prospective friends just as we are wrapping up our Portland stay. A fluke, we thought...until it happened again.

Sunday afternoon we bumbled onto (or rather, they bumbled onto us) a young couple with whom we clicked immediately. Two hours later, conversations about world travel, minimalism, and Universal good fortune had been had, phone numbers, emails and Facebook info had been exchanged and a bread maker--complete with a hands-on demonstration--had transferred ownership.

Maybe Jeremy and I are destined to have a better quality of long-distance friendships than local ones. That appears to be the direction in which the Universe is guiding us. Judging by the caliber of friends in my long distance arsenal at the moment, we're good with that. These butterflies can rest on our shoulders anytime.




Maureen Thomson and Jeremy Myers are a husband and wife team offering professional housesitting services worldwide. Visit our HouseSitting Couple website for more information.